Friday, 17 May 2013

Sophia's Eurovision 2013 preview...


Ah wisnae gaunnae this year, but... ach weel why no?



Ah hae tae say ah've no been as excited this year as ah usually get, maist years there's nae livin wi me in the weeks runnin up, but listenin tae this year's songs ah wis mair Meh than Yeah if ye get ma drift...

Untill the semis that wis. It jist goes tae show ye how great performances can transform mediocre Eurovision songs, an efter haein ma appetite weel an truly whetted ah'm gettin masel intae quite the tizzy fer th'morn's night. So here's the deal, ah'll quickly run through them, then ye can watch me stick ma neck oot an nail it tae a mast, er...

Nothin much tae see in the first half-dozen...

France - fairly forgettable...
Lithuania - underwhelmin...
Moldova - musical run-o-the-mill, but a lovely frock an great hair, awfy arrestin...
Finland - Trash. Next...
Spain - Completely uninterestin...
Belgium - No great, an the dancers made me feel a bit no weel...
Estonia - Really auld-fashioned balled, heard it afore...

We get a bit mair uptempo, an nearer the meat...

Belarus - Gaun fer the Greek vote this year, but no the greatest Greek entry...
Malta - Nice enough, but a bit twee...
Russia - Big happy song wi a peace thing gaun oan, should dae awright...
Germany - Actually really unimaginative, an their 'big name' disnae bring big chances ah fear...
Armenia - How did this get through? Wet pants so it is...

Purple patch comin up...

Netherlands - Beautiful song, as deep as ye get in 3 minutes, hope everybody sits doon an listens...
Romania - Whit can ye say, crazy song, crazy guy. 11/10 stagin an a bit o a Lordi-dark-horse...
UK - Weel we aw love Bonnie, even if she is singin a ditchwater-dull song...
Sweden - Great uptempo tune, no a winner, but should end up near the top...
Hungary - Yin o ma fave songs, but ah dinnae think it translates tae a stage, sadly...
Denmark - The favourite, but no mine. Disnae stand repeated listenins...

Then the last section starts low but builds tae a nice climax...

Iceland - Another surprise qualifier, gey depressin tae hear an tae watch...
Azerbaijan - A pit-ye-tae-sleep song, but the choregraphy weel worth watchin...
Greece - Ach ye've got tae let the Greeks hae a wee laugh this year, it's only fair...
Ukraine - Cannae understand this bein a favourite, an the giant cairryin her oan, er, whit?
Italy - Anither quality ballad entry fae Italy, if ye like that sortae thing...
Norway - Ah think she'll win the frocks stakes, an it's a bangin, if hollow, song...
Georgia - Huge ballad cut fae the same pattern as Azerbaijan's Running Scared...
Ireland - Great placin fer a top dancer that ends things oan a high, as gay as it gets...


This year the producers decided the order, barrin a first-half/second-half draw, an ah think it shows, guid pacin an variety should help aw the songs tae stand oot. Kindae obvious tae me that the winner's gaunnae come fae the last few, maist likely Norway or Georgia, wi Italy no a kick in the erse aff it...

Ma Top Ten (pre-performance mind, that can be crucial) in the order that they sing...

Moldova
Russia
Netherlands
Romania
Sweden
Denmark
Italy
Norway
Georgia
Ireland

Clunker at the bottom - Belgium or Iceland

Special mentions tae - Netherlands, which might dae surprisinly weel, an Ireland comin up oan the ootside...

And the winner is - Georgia by a nose ower Norway...

An there ye hae it, neck firmly nailed... ah hope that disnae interfere wi ma drinkin th'morn... ;-)




1 comment:

  1. Have not watched this since Lulu's offering of Boom, Bang a Bang which I took personally. So it seems did Gordon Brown.

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