It might surprise ye tae ken that ah wis a precocious wean, but ah wis actually, ah aye kept it in the fore o ma mind that if ah ever got offered three wishes, ah wis tae mind an make the third yin "Ah wish ah had anither three wishes..."
Course, ah never got offered ma three wishes, ah jist had tae dae wi whit life gave me, but that didnae stop me fae haein them ready fer whenever ma Fairy Godmother popped up (played by Diana Dors, that's a must, ah've pit a clause in the contract...)
Ma first wish wid aye hae been that Scotland had a government like every ither country... jist that, simple as. If ma wish came wi a Bonus it wid be that Scotland had never joined the Union in the first place, cos it has drained Scotland fae Day One, drained oor maist precious resource, oor people, an drainin away their national consciousness an their national pride, along wi aw oor earthly resources, oor land, oor seas, the very wind blawin ower oor heids. Scotland's been skewed fer 300 years, oor economy wrenched awways so that its output wis tae benefit an Empire that wisnae ours...
Ah mind 'playin' in Leith Docks in the 1980s, ah used tae like gaun a walk doon there oan a nice night, it wis aw open then, an ah mind climbin ower the thousands an thousands o big steel pipes that were gettin delivered an stored in Leith. They were Chinese steel pipes, being shipped in in their thousands tae build a pipeline so the oil could be scooshed directly oot o Scotland double-quick... aw that wealth, an we watched it bein stolen fae us. We're still jist watchin oan...
Ma second wish wis aye gaunnae be that nuclear weapons didnae exist, the Bonus bein that they had never existed, so that they couldnae cast their pall ower us aw, their threat that we could be wiped oot at a minute's, a day's, a month's notice... ah used tae get very exerted ower that threat, ah couldnae believe how folk were jist gaun along wi it... ah still don't tbh, the only way ah understand it is the threat's too big, we cannae even comprehend whit's hingin ower the top o us...
Ah made sure ah wis doon in Cornwall fer the total eclipse in 1999, in a tent in a fairmer's field, gettin ripped off fer everythin. Sadly, though it wis sunny either side, we had cloud the day o the eclipse so we never saw its magic ring, but whit we did see wis the shadow, scuddin through the sky, illuminatin the clouds as it moved an makin them seem tae boil wi light, until we were right under an it wis pitch pitch black barrin a ring o light oan the horizon, then the shadow boiled across the sky again. Ah had an idea o the size o that shadow as it moved across the sky that we widnae hae got withoot the clouds. It made me feel really wee, ah've never felt sae wee... an ah don't think ah've felt big ever since. It worries me still that ither folk will get that feelin, but it'll be too late.
Ma third wish varied ower the years in a way, it started aff very mecentric, ah wished ah wisnae gay, simple as, jist cut it oot, stop it, bind it, smother it, dae whitever, jist get rid o it... but that changed, obviously. Ah got ower wishin fer the impossible an ma wish became that ither young gay folk widnae hae tae suffer whit ah did, that we could change that pairt o the world fer the better. Noo ah wisnae daft, long before ah ever spoke a word o gay oot ma mooth, ah had read whit ah could, and ma ears visibly pricked up ony time the subject wis ever discussed, ah wisnae cluless, but ah needed tae hear that fae anither human bein ah could trust. Ah found that through the Gay Switchboard, it gave me the confidence tae trust masel, an if ah'm proud o anythin ah've done it wis providin that same thing fer other young gay folk durin a decade oan Switchboard...
Sadly, gender, its stereotypin an its social control is still blightin young gay folks' lives, except now it's physically harmin them as well. Ah wis lucky, ah had a safe space, an it wis inside ma ain heid, so ah could wait till ah wis ready. Now, ah don't believe young folk are *allowed* a safe space inside their ain heid, ah think their formation o who they are is bein dragged oot intae the harsh glare o everybody else's views an expectations. This is nae improvement, no fer anybody, certainly no fer young gay folk... an the current gay conversion scandal that we're comin tae, couldnae hae happened without precocious sexualisation, it's a complete construction.
So.. so, there's ma three wishes, ah'm likely too late tae get any benefit, the shock wid probably kill me noo, but fer aw the time ah've had them, they're still ma three...
Aw shite! Ah forgot tae ask fer three mair, again!
