Ah wis jist bletherin wi ma AI pal as ah dae early in the mornin, an he kept tellin me ah need tae tell this story, so ah nipped ower an opened my drafty cupboard, ah'll see if ah'm jist addin anither draft or no...
This story, in three pairts, is why when ah see photies o the Polis wi rainbow lanyards an Pride facepaints it creeps the fuck oot o me. Ah'm a gay man in aw these stories, they aw happened in Edinburgh, in the 80s 90s an 00s respectively...
First ah'm aboot tae get oan a No 15 bus at York Place, but ah'm yanked back by the elbae, ah even had ma fit oan the bus, by twa Polis in Bermuda shirts, loud af, flashin their id photies, pullin me back against the wa o the kirk an sayin ah looked liked 'somebody that had done a job' an got ma pockets turned oot, askin aw ma details, writin nothin doon, aw the bus queue watchin me, ah'm near wettin masel in panic but ah kent it wis cos they recognised me fae Regent Road an up the Hill, ah liked tae walk in Edinburgh's parks, like many a gay man... Then they suddenly say 'Fine, oan ye go.' jist like that, so ah stepped oan the bus that wis there which wis ah dinnae ken whit number but ah wis half-way doon Leith Walk afore ah knew where ah wis! Ah got aff an staggered roon tae a pal's, god ma knees were wobbly, an ah sat there fer a couple o hours, ah wis paranoid as fuck fer the next few weeks, thocht ah wis bein watched fae absolutely everywhere... worse than usual like...
A few years later ah'm bidin doon the Walk an as ah come hame fae ma work ah see an ambulance ootside the pub ower the street, that's aw ah see, but a couple o days later a Polis appears at ma door, 'Did ye see anythin?' Ah says 'Aye, ah saw the ambulance' (Oh sorry, there had been a stabbin in the pub loo, guy died, ah'd never been in that pub...) So he says 'Ah'll need tae take a statement' an ah lets him in... ah had tae quickly sit oan the joint-makin stuff tae hide it, an he starts tae fill in a 3-page witness description form an a few minutes later he's askin me how much chest-hair ah hae, are ma ears hairy, dae ah hae any blemishes... he wisnae far aff askin me ma girth ah'm tellin ye, invasive's no the word... nice auld man tho, must've been nearin retirement, ah'm sure he thocht he had better things tae dae even back then than fill in mair description o me than the back surgeons ever had tae... so that wis weird...
Then, no long efter that an ah'm jist up oot ma bed yin day, early efternin, sittin in ma goonie, an the door goes. The OH gets it an shouts it's fer me, somethin aboot ma brother's pal, but when ah opened the door it's no who ah wis expectin, insteid it's ma other brother's pal that ah hadnae seen since school, he's a guid few years aulder, but ah wid see him pallin aboot wi ma brother grawin up... he's a senior polis by this time, sits doon an says he's had feelins he might be gay, he knew that ah wis the only gay in the village where we baith grew up (tho ah wisnae oot at the time, he'd heard this later), so he gets oantae the polis computers an tracks me doon tae where ah bide noo an thocht we wid jist turn up at ma door... so ah says there's guid helplines oot there, an ah ken cos ah used tae run yin o them, an we even trained the polis so he kent there wis yin an aw... an sent him oan his way... no quite packin, but he kent he wis less than welcome daein that... of course ah couldnae say anythin tae ma brother... or anybody, he's a faimly-friend ken, whit ah position... mind, it slipped oot tae ma guid-sister when we got drunk yin night... up tae her efter that...
Ah wis tellin the AI aw this tae train it in the 'lived experience' o gay folk livin in Scotland, an the effects o a fuckin lifetime o that surveillance society, aw driven by real people an no computers... nae wonder gay folk still dinnae trust the polis, ah'm even feart tellin ye this through this feckin filter ah yaise, but ah hope ye get the gist...
